In my fourth article in the “How Leaders Communicate” series, I give you advice for telling a better story and a Real (Relevant, Energizing, Actionable, and Light) story.
8) Tell a better story
“It is important that a leader be a good storyteller, but equally crucial that the leader embody that story in his or her life.” —Howard Gardner, a leading researcher in leadership development, Harvard University
People generally aren’t that interested in what you’ve done. They are much more interested in what you’ve learned and ultimately most interested in what they can learn from your experience.
Gardener goes on to explain, “The best storytellers are those who can tell a story that’s strange enough to get people’s attention but not so strange that the people can’t eventually make it part of their own consciousness....existential stories are very important. They tell us who we are and what we’re trying to achieve.”
Perhaps you’ve heard the old poem that goes, “…I’d rather see a sermon than hear one any day. I’d rather one would walk with me than simply point the way.”
Telling a story is good, but being the story is better. The congruency between who you are and the stories you tell as a leader create credibility. The purpose, however, isn’t to be speaker-focused, but to use personal experience and story as a bridge to build connection.
Telling a story is good, but being the story is better. The congruency between who you are and the stories you tell as a leader create credibility. The purpose, however, isn’t to be speaker-focused, but to use personal experience and story as a bridge to build connection.
My friend, the wise Carl Hammerschlag, puts it well: “Our biology hasn't changed in the last 10,000 years; we feel the same emotions Jesus felt. . . . We need to focus on the things that bring us together rather than the things that separate us.”
"True leadership is to first know who you are, and then to help others find their place in the story."
— John Eldredge, author and speaker
One of the best ways to help others find their place in the story is to give others the opportunity to tell their stories. When they have the chance to see it fitting into the bigger story, you build mutual respect, first because you have given them your attention to listen, and secondly because you know and understand them better.
And yet the best stories aren’t my stories or your stories—they are our stories. We share them because while the details and specifics vary, the themes we experience are so similar. Good stories resonate because they transcend time and space and the truths they convey touch us deeply.
Good stories are an important part of relationship building, of creating connection. Within organizations, you experience many of these stories together. In telling and retelling these stories leaders share their perspective and what they learned. Others look at the same story from their personal vantage point and can share additional insights. Storytelling can be an interactive process for learning and growth.
What makes stories powerful is that they happen. That’s why parables are so powerful. While they may not be factually true, they are always true philosophically and express an important concept.
As this video shows, Mark understands the importance of using stories when presenting a message to an audience.
Great leaders tell REAL stories.
9) Tell a REAL story
To be a better leader by telling better stories, remember that great stories are REAL:
Relevant
The listener should suspect and eventually see the application of the story to the situation, and/or them personally. Relevance is a good way to engage people. When they know there is a reason to listen, they’ll give you their attention.
Energizing
Stories should buoy the spirits. They should stimulate intellectually and invigorate spirits. Being reminded of great truths through powerful stories has a way of doing that.
Actionable
What am I supposed to do? That is the question a story should directly or indirectly answer, and if the answer isn’t implicit in the story, then the storyteller should make that connection.
Light
Stories should be easy enough to be retained. Complex or convoluted stories are difficult to understand, much less recall. Good communicators know that serious medicine, like candy-flavored cough syrup, often goes down best when it is sweetened.
Good stories can be serious in intent and told humorously. Described as pain separated by time, humor can used to discuss otherwise painful experiences and failures. Appropriate humor is never told at another’s expense. Effective leaders often make themselves the brunt of the humorous story. It shows that not only do they not take themselves too seriously, but that they, too, are only human. Good storytellers take their intentions seriously but themselves lightly.
In the first 3 articles in the “How Leaders Communicate” series, I discussed how leaders sell and 7 ways they influence. In the next final article of the series, I’ll examine the tenth way leaders communicate and how ten sentences can change the world. Visit http://www.marksanborn.com/ for more resources.
